Birth mother search update part 2

For the past 3 months I have checked my email obsessively. It is the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing at night. I refresh it multiple times a day and just hope to see that message from "Post Adoption Services" that I am waiting for.

Today was that day. With each day that passed I lost more and more hope. I thought that by this point she either wasn't going to contact them or she was going to tell them she didn't want to hear from me. That she was in a time and/or place in her life when she wasn't able to reconnect. Or, that she was just simply not interested in knowing me.

Throughout my life I have found that hoping for things usually ends with disappointment for me. It's led to trying to be as apathetic about certain things as I can. Removing myself from what is going on and trying to deal with things as an outsider, instead of how it's actually happening to me. While I know that's just a part of life it's how I've learned to deal with it.

My birth mother contacted SWS today about the four letters they had sent her. I'll let you read below what she said,

She wants to meet me. I still am in disbelief that she wants to meet me. And, I have a sister! My entire life I have wanted a sister, I remember being 5-6 and begging my parents for a sister. I remember hoping that I would someday get a little sister. I can only hope that one day my birth mother tells her about me and that we are able to meet.

In 10 days I will be flying to South Korea. Sometime in the next 2.5 weeks I will be meeting my birth mother and possibly more of my birth family. It seems so surreal to me and I still can't believe it's happening. I don't think it will really settle in that this is happening until I step foot into South Korea.

To everyone who has supported me on this journey in whatever role you have played. I cannot thank you enough. You have made a dream come true for me, one that I never thought possible. And for that, I can never repay or thank you enough.